Caught up until tomorrow

Today was a stay at home day as well. And no, I didn’t play WoW all day. I made an effort to get caught up on my blog and I did. *happy dance* The real reason I didn’t leave the house today was it was laundry day. And since there is a washer but no dryer, it means I have to wait until my clothes dry on the line. The public does not want to see me in my pajamas. (Damn the public…)

Watch out, world!

After nearly twenty-four hours of downloading, my ruin was at hand.

World of Warcraft, here I come. Wicked is back.

Actually, I was supposed to meet up with Yun Sook today but I got sick. I am not about to go into details so let’s just say, I didn’t want to leave the house. So that was the extent of my activities for today.

I lied. We had pizza. It was good.

A sleepless night

I didn’t sleep last night. My sleeping pattern got messed up at some point and I had the brilliant idea that staying up a whole night might tweak me back into a regular mode. (Not thinking that in a few days I will be back in the States and it won’t matter! *sigh*) In the midst of my psychosis, I had another intelligent idea. I began the long process of downloading Warcraft. Let the addiction begin… Not to worry though, it was just the 10-day trial and it’s not like I’ll be playing it on the road trip. *crosses fingers*

The whole night wasn’t a loss. I was SO far behind on my blog but I did manage to catch up a bit. I think I got seven or eight entries done. *pats self on back* Emo was up most of the night too. She said she had too much coffee so she spent most of the night cleaning the house. (I am beginning to see where my mild case of OCD comes from.) *bleary eyed* She then went off to work only to return in the afternoon to take me and the grandparents to lunch. Her co-workers had given her money to take us to a nice Japanese restaurant, Sapporo.

The only nice thing I can say about the place was it had cool seating, kind of like that place I went to with Chi and Christine. But MY GOD, I am SO sick of sashimi. I can say that I had not even had it before coming to Korea this trip and I’ve been having it almost every other day. I DON’T LIKE FISH! I was just being polite!! Please, for god’s sake, I would like some real food!!! *cries in hunger* At least it was pretty to look at. *sniff*

I met up with Jennifer, Levi, Franklin, Mindy and Ray at Inchon station later that evening. I was vastly entertained on the way there by a woman on the train. She was wearing her pants so tight that not only could you see her prominent underwear line but the very muscles of her butt…which would twitch with a random regularity that I found hilarious. *staring yet again* Anyway, we went to Sookdae for dinner. Rob met up with us there and Misil came a lot later. The food was SOOOO good! *faints with happiness* It was…uh, chicken kalbi? Whatever. We got the spicy kind with ddok and noodles and the cheesy kind with potatoes. YUM!! (Sorry, I was too hungry to take a picture.)

I think the most startlingly funny part of the entire evening was when Rob was telling us about his favorite Korean food but he couldn’t remember the name of it. He kept saying bulgogi ttang but there isn’t such a thing. Basically, he was saying it was bulgogi but in a soup (which is what the ttang part means in this case.) Misil was trying to convince him it was either something else or it was just bulgogi with a lot of liquid. In the midst of their heated debate, Misil dramatically splashed the remainder of her beverage into the remnants of our chicken kalbi and queried, “Then what do you call THIS? Chicken kalbi ttang?!?” *a moment of utter silence before everyone burst into hysterical laughter*

When we left it was POURING rain. *drenched even with an umbrella* Jennifer wanted to get bingsoo but the place was closed. Luckily there was a noraebang next door so we took refuge there. Between the mood lighting that cost a dollar, Misil double fisting the mikes and learning Levi could rap Eminem with the best of them, we had a good time. I hope Jennifer and Levi have a great time on their trip and a great rest of their life! *smiles*

A mistaken sense of direction

I was rudely awakened by a phone call. And then my ears were assaulted by the piercing tones of Sook Mo #1. She was calling to schedule family time for me and Jung Min. The story goes, Jung Min was scheduled for an overnight rehearsal and therefore had the morning off. Instead of letting the poor girl sleep, Sook Mo thought it would be fantastic for her to spend that time with me. *still trying to wake up* I called Jung Min posthaste and set up a meeting. Ok. Myong Dong at 1pm. Good-bye.

I got there. On time, no less. Without thinking, I exited at the first exit I saw. *a moment of hesitation* Uh…did we even set up a place to meet? Now that I think about it, I think I pick exit #1 because that’s the one I always went to whenever I met up with Yun Sook. My bad! Because I was WRONG! After waiting for nearly half an hour, I decided to call her. But I had forgotten to bring her number with me! *smacks self in head* I scrounged some coins out of my purse and dialed Emo’s. My grandmother answered and then it occurred to me, this could prove to be difficult. *hangs head in despair*

After attempting to pry information out of the old lady while watching the money in the payphone drain away to nothing, I finally asked to speak to someone else. Luckily, Hyun Ho was home. I told him excitedly exactly where to find my notebook with all the phone numbers only to have him casually remark that he couldn’t read my handwriting. *doom* The only one he could recognize was the shoe shop. I quickly memorized the number (there was an echo of remembrance in my head that made it much easier than it would have been otherwise) and dialed with trepidation.

Sure enough, Sook Mo’s outrage was clearly heard at the far corners of the subway station. Jung Min had been waiting for THIRTY minutes! *cringe* I was forced to borrow a pen from a hapless bystander who seemed to be sympathetic and I was able to write down Jung Min’s cell and finally meet up with her. Gah… We laughed about it after I had recovered my composure a bit. *sheepish grin* The Outback was our first stop. We needed to eat! I nearly needed to be rolled out after we ate. I was SO FULL. (Do I sense repetition here?) Then I realized I had forgotten my camera battery…

I did a little shopping, we hung out a bit and then it was time for Jung Min to head back to school. I’m glad we ended up hanging out even though she was sleep deprived and I was lost for a bit. I’m going to miss her!

Wedding goodness

Early morning, there was drama with Mom but I’m going to skip over that and just say that she left for the airport to go home as scheduled. Around 330pm, I left to go to Jennifer’s wedding. It was freaking FAR! I think it took me an hour to get there on the subway. Once I got off the train, I looked at the neighborhood map to see where I needed to go. *giggles bubbling dangerously near the surface* Well, I found the place.

Korean wedding are odd. It’s more of a production than anything else. There are facilities called wedding halls that cater specifically to providing you with the proper setting while you are tying the knot. Depending on the amount of money you want to spend, you can get less or more…stuff. Like a smoke machine. *laughs* You also rent your wedding dress which is awesome because, honestly, when are you ever going to wear it again.

Jennifer looked beautiful. The ceremony was long. The trumpet solo was exceedingly loud. There were people everywhere! And I’m not talking about guests although there were about a hundred of us. There was a photographer and a videographer and a lady from the wedding hall that kept rushing up to fix Jennifer’s dress or to tell Levi to remember to clench his fist or to tell the two of them how to pose for the photos. I felt like I was on a movie set. The funniest part was when they had to cut this fake wedding cake with a knife that looked remarkably like a samurai sword. *evil grin*

Oh, before I forget. Korean people don’t tend to give wedding gifts. It’s customary to bestow gifts of the monetary variety. To ensure that you do, the wedding halls have a genius system set up. Before you walk into the seating area prior to the wedding, there is a kiosk divided into two sections. (Let me give you a hint, Bride and Groom.) You hand over your gift/money in an envelope to the lady in the correct section in order to get your name in the guest book. Then they hand you a ticket. (Remember the ticket, it’s very important.)

After the ceremony, the guests were invited to partake in food while Jennifer and Levi changed out of their wedding gear. The mass of people were slowly funneled through into the dining area by a another wedding hall employee. And what was she doing? Collecting meal tickets! I told you to hold onto it!! I sat next to Rob. I hadn’t seen him since show choir days in high school. Misil was at the wedding too but she was downstairs helping Jennifer so she didn’t eat with us.

After a while, the married couple still hadn’t shown up so we went in search of them. I had forgotten that after the western style wedding, they then changes into the traditional Korean outfits to take MORE pictures. Finally, they were allowed to get changed into regular clothes and eat. I hadn’t met Levi before but he was super nice! Since they were leaving at the end of the week for their Peace Corps mission to Suriname, they were going to be really busy. But a group of us decided to meet up on Wednesday. All in all, it was a good wedding!

Next time, remind me. I hate amusement parks.

Ugh. I don’t know if I was emotionally exhausted because of last night or what but I slept in LATE today. I vaguely recall Mom coming in at one point and talking to me about going somewhere but I don’t remember anything at all about what she said. And then I remember Hyun Ji coming in and asking if I wanted to go to Seoul Land to which I whined something along the line of “Nooooo, I’m tiiiiiiired.” I don’t know how much time passed after that. All of a sudden, my eyes opened and I was awake. It was kind of cool except it was 3pm and the reason I didn’t want to sleep anymore was because I kept having the same bad dream over and over again. It really sucks to be stabbed in the side with a pair of tongs. *grimace*

Determined to do something today, I rushed out into the living to announce that I wanted to go to Seoul Land…only to find no one was home. Wait. Never mind. The cousins were home but they were hiding. Ok, so they really weren’t hiding. Hyun Ho was still studying for mid-terms and Hyun Ji was watching TV in her parents’ room. It took us a little over fifteen minutes to get ready and we were out the door. (We had to abandon Hyun Ho because he wasn’t allowed to come. You know, studying takes precedence over everything. Possibly even breathing.) Once again, the subway was the setting for another comedy.

I don’t know if it’s like this in other parts of the world but it’s pretty much a given in Korea that you will give up your seat on the bus or subway for an elderly person. I really hate the people who treat you like shit just because they feel that they are entitled to the seat due to their age. The least they can do is be decent about it. You know?!? *grr…* But there was this old lady today and she was pretty funny about the whole thing. She didn’t glare at the guy or mutter some derogatory remarks about his parents under her breath. In fact, she was on her way to stand by the door when he got up and offered her his seat.

The thing that got me was how she was simultaneously saying, “Oh, dear. I didn’t want to be a bother. I really feel sorry that you have to give up your seat for me…” as she was hurrying him out the seat with a not to gentle push. Puhahaha. The dichotomy is amusing to me. The rest of the ride was uneventful. We got there in record time. Well, in any case, we got there faster than it took us to get to Lotte World the other day. Anyway, it was warm and we didn’t feel like walking so we coughed up a buck fifty and caught the elephant tram up the amusement park entrance.

We had taken so long to get there that it was nearing 5pm. We looked to see what the price of the tickets were and realized that there was a discount for evening tickets…starting at 5pm. What luck! But how freaking SLOW those last ten minutes were. And then we were in!! Before we could do anything else, we had to take advantage of the photo opportunities. You really shouldn’t let a fountain go to waste. Flex your fingers and ready your peace sign! *forced smile while waiting for Hyun Ji to take my picture for the fifteenth time*

Lunch was at Lotteria. Hyun Ji was craving a burger so I caved in although it’s not my most favorite thing. In the end, she ended up ordering for me because even though I was looking at a menu full of burgers, I had no idea what was what. She said she was getting me a cheeseburger but it wasn’t like any cheeseburger I had ever had before. First of all, I couldn’t find any cheese. And there was a meat patty but there was another one underneath it that was breaded. At least that’s what I thought until I bit into it. So THERE was the cheese! Interesting. And then there were black olives and sweet pickles…

We went on a couple rides. The lines weren’t insane but they were still long. We had Dippin’ Dots to give me strength. God, I hate waiting in lines. We rode a couple more rides and then I made a mistake. I let Hyun Ji talk me into riding a spinning ride. BIG BOO BOO! I know that spinny rides make me want to hurl. For some reason, that was not taken into consideration. It only occurred to me when I found my face plastered against a window as I was simultaneously being rolled horizontally and flipped upside down. I was so nauseous I could barely walk. I’m glad I didn’t throw up because I would have been embarrassed but, at the same time, I wish I had because my tummy might have decided not to be so angry with me.

I couldn’t really act like I was sick because I didn’t want to ruin Hyun Ji’s time at the park. So I faked it. *laughs* It was rather difficult since I had the sweats, was shaking and gulping frantically. But overall, I did ok. And I even managed three more rides after that. The picture on the flume ride was so hysterical that we had to buy a copy. My stomach finally settled down enough for me to have a sausage on a stick. Woohoo! Because no time at a Korean amusement park is complete without a sausage on a stick!! *munch* By then it was 10pm and the park was closing so we hopped on the subway to go home.

STOP. BREATHING!!

Gah… Have you ever been so IRRITATED by a person that even the way they BREATHE pisses you off? *running in circles of mad frustration* I seriously, seriously detest my uncle. (That would be Sam Chon #3, the one visiting from China.) There are a number of reasons, which I’m not going to get into because my blood pressure would probably go through the roof, but let me get on with my blog. *forced smile*

Chi and I had planned to meet at Ichon station before going to Yongsan to catch a movie. My uncle was on the way out to wherever he was going and wanted to tag along because he didn’t know how to get to the subway station from the apartment. Grudgingly, I agreed. Then Emo decides that we should take her car instead so I got to spend a lovely 45 minutes, trapped in a small space, listening to the irritating way that he breathes! The only upside being, I actually arrived ten minutes EARLY. Chi was so surprised that he wasn’t prepared and arrived ten minutes late. (He must have thought that I would be late for some reason…)

I began to come to the realization that maybe my ice cream obsession was getting out of hand when Chi finally showed up. Since I had been waiting in front of the supermarket, I thought I would buy one to munch on to pass the time. Chi’s first remark upon arrival was, “Hey! I was going to buy you an ice cream.” *blinks* Do I really eat ice cream THAT much? *perusing through past blogs* Hah! No wonder I’ve gained over ten pounds in the past month. But I’m not giving it up! NEVER!! I don’t know when I’m coming back so I have to stock up. *pleading for understanding*

Anyway, we got to Yongsan and proceeded to take a number to buy our movie tickets. *questioning look* It was like being at the DMV but with a much shorter wait. Our movie of choice: Spiderman 3. Um, yeah. *embarrassed* But to be honest, there wasn’t really anything else to see. It had the potential to be good, right? We had a couple of hours before the movie started so we decided to have lunch. YAY! *so hungry* We went to a Japanese place and Chi had soba while I had sushi. It was pretty damn mediocre. Oh, well.

We wandered around and looked at different stores. *screams in excitement* Oh my god! They had the SARS masks!! *happy dance* (Ok, in reality, they are not masks for SARS. But I think that’s the image Americans carry in their heads because they’ve only seen the masks in that context. People wear them when they’re sick in order not to spread their cold. Another reason being, in the spring, a wind blows in from China with a lot of grit. It has been known to cause lung infections so people wear the masks to prevent crap from getting into their chests. ANYWAY…) They were so cute that I had to buy a couple. Ok, ten. *innocent look* I’m going to start a new fashion craze in the States. *laughs*

We split a yummy strawberry bingsoo before heading into the movie theatre to grab out assigned seats. Yes. They assign movie theatre seats in Korea. *startled* In any case, the movie was ok. There was just so much crying that I wanted to pull my hair out at times but I refrained. Afterwards, we walked the entire way back to Ichon. (Puhahaha, I make it sound like a long way. It’s only one stop on the subway.) We had chicken again and talked. Then we walked to the Han River and talked some more.

It was interesting, exasperating, provoking and enlightening. In struggling to try and verbalize my opinions as well as defending them heatedly, I cried a lot. Not to blame Chi, I would have cried anyway. It just made me realize how much I missed having someone who just understands me. Or who listens to what I have to say without making me feel judged but is still able to express opinion. I miss knowing that no matter what I do or say or feel, that there is someone who loves me anyway.

I miss my dad.

Closed for renovation

In all my ramblings of yesterday, I forgot to mention a most important thing. I experienced sweet potato pizza for the first time. Oh. My. God. Where have you been all my life? *drool*
In any case, I woke up this morning to Matt’s call. The plan for today was to go to an amusement park with Hyun Ji since her mid-terms were over and she had the day off. But she had stayed up so late last night on the computer that she was sleeping in! *grumpy but can’t blame her* She finally woke up at 1pm. (Ok, so I couldn’t stand it anymore and went in there to make a little noise to see if she would wake up. *sneaky, sneaky*) I had thought to go to Lotte World. Hyun Ji wanted to go to Seoul Land. To be honest I didn’t care but then Emo said there was a store she wanted us to stop by if we went to Lotte World.

So we asked Hyun Ho to check the computer to make sure the amusement park was open today. He scoffed at us. (Yes! The nerve of him!!) And proceeded to tell us, OF COURSE it was open. Teenagers. *rolls eyes* Whatever. So we left. It took us over an hour to get there because it takes at least fifteen minutes just to get to the subway station and then it’s far anyway. Once we got there, we had to look for the store that Emo wanted us to go to because we weren’t planning on being out of the park before dark. By then, everything would be closed.

We got distracted along the way and I ended up buying three dresses. We looked at a lot of different stores. Finally we found the one that Emo wanted us to go to. After we stashed all of our purchases in a locker, we headed into the Lotte Department store for a bite to eat. It was an odd system where you pay for your food at the register and then they give you a ticket to pick it up at the proper kiosk. *squinting up at the menu* It made it hard for me to choose what I wanted to eat because I couldn’t see it in front of me.

We ate a lot. *patting my fat little belly* A quick stop at the restroom prior to leaving the food court was entertaining. Some girl was wearing a hideous silver jacket with a large conversation bubble on it. In it were the words, “Tom, so you envy my cheese?” *silence* What does that mean?!? Cheese as in money or cheese as in real cheese? And who is this Tom? As in Tom and Jerry?? In that case, the cheese comment might make sense. Korean people and their fashion sense. It’s very, very…odd.

By then it was nearing evening and we figured we should probably get to the park if we were going to have any fun before it was time to go home. *almost an hour later* We couldn’t find the entrance. And then we realized, we couldn’t find the entrance because the place was closed! DAMN YOU, HYUN HO!! *leaking angry tears* Oh, well. Whatever. At least I bought a few things. Had I wasted the whole day… So, we did the natural thing, ate ice cream and headed home.

On the way, Chi called me and asked if I wanted to meet up. I said I could make it to Shinchon by 730pm. He misheard me and had been waiting since 630pm. And then I was half an hour late! *embarrassed again* It was a good thing he had a book with him. Then we went to this…thing. Oh my god, it was hysterical. It was called a Cyworld Meeting. I didn’t know that a Meeting in Korea was rather like a large group date!! I had fun just meeting people though. The best being Steve. Steve was awesome. He said he would “like to make a friendly” with Chi and wouldn’t let go of his hand after shaking it. *laughing at Chi’s vaguely uncomfortable expression while furtively trying to get his hand back* After another ice cream break, it was time to go home.

It’s a love/hate kind of a thing

Cognitive Dissonace. This is the psychological term that describes the excruciating tension one experiences when holding two conflicting ideas at the same time or when engaging in behavior that conflicts with one’s beliefs. This is the only way I can describe what it feels like to grow up in two cultures. There is always inconsistency and discordance and trying to find common ground is like trying to find footing in quicksand.

I love being both Korean and American. I love being Korean because there is so much tradition and ritual that defines the people and the culture. I love the time that I spent here and my family is such a large part of me. There are basic convictions that I don’t even remember adopting because I was conditioned to them since birth, beliefs that I know as unquestionable. Yet my American side questions them. And although I love that about my other half, it plays havoc with my peace of mind and tears my heart to pieces.

My independence struggles with the need to conform. I respect my elders but also think they need to behave in a way to keep that respect. I bow my head and assent when I want to say no and I dig in my heels when I should give in graciously. Within me is still an angry five year old, learning that the world I live in only loves me for my looks and being thin is equivalent to perfection. Even after living in the States for years, I still struggle to accept the American idea of self esteem. I find it hard to love myself for who I am and not how people judge me.

When I am in America, I am set apart by what seems to be random moments of vicious conservativeness. But to me, they are not random. I may not be able to explain them but I know that somewhere there are people, what I consider my people, that also accept them to be true. Yet when I am here in Korea, these are not my people. I am set apart by my tattoos, the casual way I dress, how I laugh too loud in public, my openness in discussing any topic but mostly by the color of my skin. I don’t belong here either.

Being bi-racial is a blessing. It opens up doors to experiences in ways that are closed to others. You get to live the lives of two people. But that in itself is also the curse because those two people don’t always get along. And sometimes, they hate each other because there are issues you just cannot reconcile. Then you pick a side and hope you pick the right one, knowing that a part of you despises yourself for making that decision. This life is all-inclusive yet isolating, uplifting yet disheartening, freeing yet I am held captive.

Sounds melodramatic, doesn’t it? But that is why I love it here and hate it here. Why I’m still finding it hard to accept myself the way that I am because I still don’t know where I stand on certain issues. I feel like I’ve been afflicted with multiple personality disorder and yet I would do the same to my own children. Does that make any sense? The greater good of understanding two cultures is more important than the life of one individual. How is that for combining the Asian group mentality with American globalism?

A blah day

Today was devoted to doing nothing. I did not even leave the house. I talked to Matt in the morning, my mom and everyone left for the country this afternoon and then Jennifer Kleckner’s mom called to tell me that I needed to be present at the wedding on Monday. Basically, I sat at home and paid homage to the divinity that is MySpace. Just kidding. Sort of… *sheepish grin*

I did watch a crazy show last night. I think it’s called S.O.S. Basically, they go find extreme situations and then try to help or something like that. In the show, there was a man who was at the mercy of his wife since having had a stroke. He was confined to bed rest and she was refusing to feed him. He looked like a skeleton with skin. It was pretty gross. At first, you think the wife is a hurking bitch. I mean, the man is invalid. The least you could do it feed him.

But then it turns out that he used to beat her a lot when he was healthy. Not to say that he deserved to starve to death but you start seeing the whole picture. Then you find out that even after he had a stroke, the man used to ask her to make him a special meal and then refuse to eat it. Or he would ask for water and when she would bring it, he would throw it on the floor and tell her to go get him milk. All she wanted was for him to apologize but he was so stubborn she decided to try starving him into submission. Anyway, in the end he was rehabilitated and they went to counseling and seem to be trying to work things out. WEIRD!

My beautiful pink nails

ACK! I was about to be late. I was hauling ass but the prospect looked grim. *frantically looking around for a solution* I cabbed it. Puhahaha. I thought I was taking the easy way out by not giving Yun Sook a chance to lecture me. I hadn’t counted on the cab driver. *glum* He asked why I was in such a hurry and, because I was in such a hurry, I didn’t think before responding. And the lecture commenced. It was somewhat interesting in that there is a Korean saying (that I had been unaware of) that the reason Korean ajjumahs are always late is because their heavy butts. *cracking up*

(Advertising on the subway. Cool, huh?!?)

Yun Sook and I wandered around and looked at all sorts of stores. The first and foremost being a condom store. Gosh, it was small! Erm, the store…not other things. *cough* Anyway, moving on. Ooh. My new favorite store is Skin Food! It’s super cute and they have cool stuff. I bought a black sugar facial scrub and a cheese facial pack. Don’t ask. I don’t know. I was caught up in the excitement of purchasing things. It’s so overwhelming sometimes. *overwhelmed* And once more, moving on. *nonchalant whistle*

We looked at a lot of clothing stores since Yun Sook was looking for some tops. I held firm to the belief that Korean clothing was not for me. But the more we went into stores, the more I wanted to buy something. (Remember, shoes were no longer ok for me to buy.) So I finally purchased a skirt. I had really wanted to try it on before buying it to see if it would look ok. But in Korea, they seem to have a policy that you have to buy most things before you can try it on. And if you don’t like it after that, you can’t return it but you can exchange it for something else in the store. *exasperated*

I bought a black jersey mini. Seeing as though I had already purchased it, I figured I could try it on. Thank god, I only paid $7 for it. As soon as I tried tugging it on over my hips… Pop. POP! Pop, POP, POP, pop, pop!! I heard all the stitching go. *frozen in shock* I looked up just in time to see a small smile flicker across the clerk’s mouth, kind of a “that’s the reason I wouldn’t let you try it on before you bought it because your American ass is too big for our one size fits all society.” *sigh* I couldn’t be upset. It wasn’t like I didn’t already know.

I did find a couple of gifts for the girls and even found a store with my name! (Jenny’s room) By the time we deemed our venture into public a success, my feet were killing me. I needed to go home. Yun Sook came back to Emo’s with me and we painted our nails. Well, she painted MY nails. Hers were already done. Then we all went out to dinner and burnt the meat in Heather’s honor. *laughs*