No matter how many years I’ve lived in Korea and no matter that I’m half Korean, there are things that I will never understand about this culture. For example, their obsession with weight. My mom tells me not to take it personally because it’s just an average greeting to tell someone “Wow, you’ve gained a lot of weight since the last time we met!” Um…excuse me and fuck you? I find it even more excruciatingly frustrating because the people saying this are the ‘adults’ and I’ve been trained since birth to hold my tongue as a sign of respect. But it drives me crazy! Every time that phrase comes out of their mouths, I want to retort with a “Really? Because, unfortunately for you, you’re still as ugly as you were last time. It’s a shame you can’t afford surgery because you make me want to stab my eyes out with a spoon. And by the way, I don’t think I ever recall you being even remotely in my weight range so FUCK OFF.” ARGH!Anyway… *happy thoughts, happy thoughts*
Today, two of Emo’s friends came and took us out to lunch. Yay! Oh, wait…WHAT?!? We’re having duck? *uncertain* (I’d never had it before.) But it was good! And we participated in the Korean national past time of over eating. The meal was seven courses long. The first dish was plain duck that we cooked ourselves on our tabletop barbeque. Then we were served BBQ duck that was prepared similarly to Chinese BBQ pork. (You know the kind with the hot pink around the edge.) But it was super good with a hot mustard dipping sauce. YUM!
The next dish to come out was raw duck marinated in kimchee that was also thrown over the barbeque. It was really good too! Then we were served naeng-myun. By this time, I thought I was going to burst. But we still had three more dishes to go! They brought out a pot with various greens and roots along with some duck and boiled it into a broth for us. A thick rice stew soon followed. And finally, dessert. *drool* Gawd, I was full.
After lunch, Mom and I decided to go to the Namdaemun market to exchange money. At this point, I think it I need to mention another Korean idiosyncrasy. They are leery of banks. I have no idea why but they are. So on the way to the market, my mother is explaining to me WHY we are going to the market to exchange money instead of the bank. The exchange rate it better. Does that make any sense at all?!? *completely confused*
We got to the market with no problem. As we were wandering towards the middle, I was distracted by the food vendors. I was still pretty stuffed but they had dried persimmons and I LOVE dried persimmons. So we each grabbed one and munched as we made our way into the bowels of Namdaemun. (Ok, ok. So it wasn’t that dramatic but I was running out of things to say.) There are all sorts of little shops that sell anything from bags to shoes to ‘inner wear’ to outer wear. We stopped at a couple of places so I could look at things. And each time my mother would surreptitiously ask, “Where can we exchange dollars into won?”
Do you want to know what the response was? “If you head down this road until it ends, there will be a group of elderly ladies sitting in a row. They will know.” Cryptic. And yet delightfully suspenseful! So we wandered down the lane until we came upon just that, a group of old women sitting on stools in a row. Each equipped with fanny packs large enough to drown a cat. (That wasn’t a nice image. My bad…) Immediately seeing a foreigner, that would be me, they started shouting at us. *cringe* Except they weren’t angry. They wanted our money... to exchange.
I seriously felt like we were in the middle of a stereotypical drug deal or something. The woman we picked after serious consideration (which means my mom just pointed to the lady closest to us) quickly and almost furtively led us to a semi-private area between two clothing stalls. There we exchanged our American money for wads and wads of Korean money which my mother was stuffing into her various pockets and also my purse. After looking around to see if anyone was watching, we quickly walked away. Not because what we were doing was illegal but because my mom was afraid someone was going to try and steal our money!
The reason I had tagged along on this expedition, aside from wanting to exchange some money, was to get my hair cut. But once we were walking around with our pockets and handbags laden with cash, the prospect seemed a little scarier. So we immediately headed back to Emo’s. I didn’t get my hair cut. I didn’t get any shoes. I was greatly saddened. *cries* But then my grandparents put on an impromptu comedy show to liven thing up. (Just so you know, I’m being sarcastic.) *rolls eyes*
As soon as I walked into the apartment, both the grandparents chime “Did you get your hair cut? Let me see!” My grandmother was in the kitchen and my grandfather was in the living room. My grandmother, being closer in proximity to me, quickly realized that I didn’t get my hair cut just as I answered “No.” Both utter with perfect timing “Why not?” So I explained about the money cutting our shopping expedition short. My grandmother nodded in understanding as my grandfather burst in with a “What? So you cut your hair?? Let me see!” And this is what followed:
J: No, I didn’t cut my hair.
GF: What?!? Why not?
GM: Are you deaf or something? Didn’t you hear the poor girl explain that she couldn’t cut her hair?
GF: What? So she cut her hair?? Come over here so I can see!
J: N-no. Actually, I DIDN’T cut my hair.
GF: You didn’t? Why not??
GM: AIGOO! She just said, she didn’t cut her hair!!
GF: Oh. So she DID cut it. Why won’t you come over here so I can see it???
GM: LISTEN HERE, OLD MAN! SHE SAID SHE COULDN’T CUT HER HAIR BECAUSE THEY HAD TO BRING THE MONEY HOME!! HER HAIR IS NOT, I SAID NOT, CUT!!!
GF: Oh. *mumble, mumble* You could have just said that to begin with.
Ah…the joys of the elderly.
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