The joys of being me

No matter how many years I’ve lived in Korea and no matter that I’m half Korean, there are things that I will never understand about this culture. For example, their obsession with weight. My mom tells me not to take it personally because it’s just an average greeting to tell someone “Wow, you’ve gained a lot of weight since the last time we met!” Um…excuse me and fuck you? I find it even more excruciatingly frustrating because the people saying this are the ‘adults’ and I’ve been trained since birth to hold my tongue as a sign of respect. But it drives me crazy! Every time that phrase comes out of their mouths, I want to retort with a “Really? Because, unfortunately for you, you’re still as ugly as you were last time. It’s a shame you can’t afford surgery because you make me want to stab my eyes out with a spoon. And by the way, I don’t think I ever recall you being even remotely in my weight range so FUCK OFF.” ARGH!

Anyway… *happy thoughts, happy thoughts*

Today, two of Emo’s friends came and took us out to lunch. Yay! Oh, wait…WHAT?!? We’re having duck? *uncertain* (I’d never had it before.) But it was good! And we participated in the Korean national past time of over eating. The meal was seven courses long. The first dish was plain duck that we cooked ourselves on our tabletop barbeque. Then we were served BBQ duck that was prepared similarly to Chinese BBQ pork. (You know the kind with the hot pink around the edge.) But it was super good with a hot mustard dipping sauce. YUM!

The next dish to come out was raw duck marinated in kimchee that was also thrown over the barbeque. It was really good too! Then we were served naeng-myun. By this time, I thought I was going to burst. But we still had three more dishes to go! They brought out a pot with various greens and roots along with some duck and boiled it into a broth for us. A thick rice stew soon followed. And finally, dessert. *drool* Gawd, I was full.

After lunch, Mom and I decided to go to the Namdaemun market to exchange money. At this point, I think it I need to mention another Korean idiosyncrasy. They are leery of banks. I have no idea why but they are. So on the way to the market, my mother is explaining to me WHY we are going to the market to exchange money instead of the bank. The exchange rate it better. Does that make any sense at all?!? *completely confused*

We got to the market with no problem. As we were wandering towards the middle, I was distracted by the food vendors. I was still pretty stuffed but they had dried persimmons and I LOVE dried persimmons. So we each grabbed one and munched as we made our way into the bowels of Namdaemun. (Ok, ok. So it wasn’t that dramatic but I was running out of things to say.) There are all sorts of little shops that sell anything from bags to shoes to ‘inner wear’ to outer wear. We stopped at a couple of places so I could look at things. And each time my mother would surreptitiously ask, “Where can we exchange dollars into won?”

Do you want to know what the response was? “If you head down this road until it ends, there will be a group of elderly ladies sitting in a row. They will know.” Cryptic. And yet delightfully suspenseful! So we wandered down the lane until we came upon just that, a group of old women sitting on stools in a row. Each equipped with fanny packs large enough to drown a cat. (That wasn’t a nice image. My bad…) Immediately seeing a foreigner, that would be me, they started shouting at us. *cringe* Except they weren’t angry. They wanted our money... to exchange.

I seriously felt like we were in the middle of a stereotypical drug deal or something. The woman we picked after serious consideration (which means my mom just pointed to the lady closest to us) quickly and almost furtively led us to a semi-private area between two clothing stalls. There we exchanged our American money for wads and wads of Korean money which my mother was stuffing into her various pockets and also my purse. After looking around to see if anyone was watching, we quickly walked away. Not because what we were doing was illegal but because my mom was afraid someone was going to try and steal our money!

The reason we ended up with so much cash is this: Let’s say 1 USD is worth 1,000 KRW. (Do I have to spell it out for you? USD = U.S. Dollar and KRW = Korean Won.) Now don’t get all puffed up thinking the dollar is worth so much more than won because it’s not. *big needle to the balloon of U.S. pride* $1 and 1,000 won buys about the same amount of stuff. The PROBLEM is that Korea’s largest bill is 10,000 won. That’s right, folks. TEN FREAKING DOLLARS. Which means when my mom exchanged all of money she was planning on spending whilst here, she received WADS upon WADS of cash. Good lord...

The reason I had tagged along on this expedition, aside from wanting to exchange some money, was to get my hair cut. But once we were walking around with our pockets and handbags laden with cash, the prospect seemed a little scarier. So we immediately headed back to Emo’s. I didn’t get my hair cut. I didn’t get any shoes. I was greatly saddened. *cries* But then my grandparents put on an impromptu comedy show to liven thing up. (Just so you know, I’m being sarcastic.) *rolls eyes*

As soon as I walked into the apartment, both the grandparents chime “Did you get your hair cut? Let me see!” My grandmother was in the kitchen and my grandfather was in the living room. My grandmother, being closer in proximity to me, quickly realized that I didn’t get my hair cut just as I answered “No.” Both utter with perfect timing “Why not?” So I explained about the money cutting our shopping expedition short. My grandmother nodded in understanding as my grandfather burst in with a “What? So you cut your hair?? Let me see!” And this is what followed:

J: No, I didn’t cut my hair.

GF: What?!? Why not?

GM: Are you deaf or something? Didn’t you hear the poor girl explain that she couldn’t cut her hair?

GF: What? So she cut her hair?? Come over here so I can see!

J: N-no. Actually, I DIDN’T cut my hair.

GF: You didn’t? Why not??

GM: AIGOO! She just said, she didn’t cut her hair!!

GF: Oh. So she DID cut it. Why won’t you come over here so I can see it???

GM: LISTEN HERE, OLD MAN! SHE SAID SHE COULDN’T CUT HER HAIR BECAUSE THEY HAD TO BRING THE MONEY HOME!! HER HAIR IS NOT, I SAID NOT, CUT!!!

GF: Oh. *mumble, mumble* You could have just said that to begin with.

Ah…the joys of the elderly.

Family & Food

*blink blink*

What the HELL?!? It was 8am and there I was…wide awake. (FYI: If left to my own devices, I hardly ever crawl out of bed before noon.) I hadn’t even set an alarm or anything. I don’t know if I woke up because both my cousins and my uncle leave the house around that time or what. *seriously disoriented* Emo left for work closer to 930am after eating breakfast with the rest of us but she came back around noon to take us to her friend’s restaurant for lunch.

It had a limited menu, I think there was about six dishes all together. But it was only 3,000 won (about $3) per dish ALL YOU CAN EAT. Craziness. I got to have naeng-myun though! Yummy!! Everyone kept telling me to eat more and get my money’s worth. Um…no. To begin with, the bowl of naeng-myun was humongous! And besides that, I was full. I think I got my money’s worth. It’s really not fun for me to eat so much I feel like I’m going to throw up. Maybe I’ll take that up as my hobby next year.

After lunch, I decided I wanted to go to my Sook Mo’s shoe shop. (Korean Lesson #2 – If you recall the previous lesson, Emo = aunt, my mother’s sister. Well, Sook Mo also means aunt but it means my mother’s brother’s wife. It’s seems super confusing but Korean people are really into identifying exactly how each person is related. So the purpose of this confusion is actually clarity.) Anyway, everyone put their heads together to devise a plan to get me to the subway station. Really, people. All you need to do it point the way. I have lived here before and I do know how to use the subway!

Completely disregarding my assertions of independence, we set off on a convoluted route that involved dropping off my mom and grandparents at the house prior to dropping me off at the subway station so that Emo could run some errands afterwards. *sigh* I was given detailed instructions as to how to ride the subway and how to find the bus I would need to take up to the shop. I swear I’m an adult… (Although I do have to admit that the bus bit made me a bit nervous. The subway had always been my choice of transportation because I never did get the hang of buses. I didn’t ever have to. I was always hanging out with Jeannie. And as everyone knows, Jeannie is the transportation goddess.)

I hung out for a while at the shoe shop until I found out that my cousins weren’t going to be back until late so I bailed. I wandered down the hill to the other subway station that was in the neighborhood. On the way I RANDOMLY met some guy I used to go to Vida with, Alex. Super weird but kind of cool. What are the chances that we would both be on that hill at the same time??? Anyway, I met up with my other cousin (Un Young) and we headed back to Emo’s. It was a clan gathering of sorts to pay respects to the grandparents kind of thing.

I took quite a few pictures but not like my other Sook Mo. She was going psycho with her camera! *startled* Now that I think about it…just so this doesn’t get confusing, let’s call my shoe shop aunt “Sook Mo #1” and “Sook Mo #2” is the trigger happy one. We all ate, hung out and had a good time. At least I think we did. I passed out soon after eating. *food coma* When I woke up, Un Young had left but my other cousins had arrived. It was great to see everyone again after so long. I really had missed them.

Bon voyage!

The day of my departure had finally arrived. I was going to Korea!! *SO excited* I hadn’t been back since the summer of 2000 so it was definitely time to visit the motherland again. *laughs* My mom and grandparents were going too. Actually, my mom already left last week to make it to her friend’s wedding which left me to escort the grandparents. Eh, that was not what I had envisioned when picturing my grand return but what could I do? *shrug*

This morning was a crazy rush. As usual, I hadn’t done my laundry until the last minute which meant I had to wake up extra early just to pack. *pulls hair out* What do you take on a month long trip? I didn’t want to over pack but at the same time, it was still a MONTH. I don’t think I did to badly. One and a half bags isn’t too bad, right?!? *sheepish grin* Then Liz had overslept so I ended up driving her to school. ARGH!

By that time, I realized that I had to make a stop at the bank. I needed money to spend on my trip! So I hauled ass and was rushing around like a chicken with its head cut off because our ride was showing up at 10am. *bwak bwak* As I was out and about, I decided to pick up breakfast. McDonald’s McGriddles. YUM!! Everything was going well until I tried to put the drink holder with the orange juice on the floor and ended up dumping a whole cup on my passenger seat. *doing a remarkable impression of a statue while watching the cup tip over in slow motion*

There was a lake, A LAKE, in the passenger seat. I ran inside to get some napkins but it seems McDonald’s napkins are made in a way that makes them impenetrable to liquids. Odd since I would have thought that their purpose was to clean up messes… *hysterical tears for about five seconds until I realize the time* Anyway, I had to get back home.

I got back just in time to scarf down my food, make a valiant (yet quick) attempt to clean the mess in my car and finish packing just as our ride arrived. I hope the orange juice doesn’t rot or something while I’m gone. *imagining a rank, wet mess where my passenger seat used to be when I arrive back home a month later* Oh well, it was time to go! And so we went.

We arrived at the airport and checked in with no hassle then realized we still had TWO WHOLE HOURS before our flight was scheduled to take off. *twiddling thumbs* The only point of interest that whole time was the man standing in front of me when we were getting ready to board. He had such large tufts of hair growing on his ears that he had styled them into wings! (People are weird.) We quickly found out seats and I passed out for the first 30 minutes but woke up as soon as the plane took off. *unnaturally wide awake* (I usually sleep for the entire flight.)

Ah, yes. Eleven hours of…movies. I am not a huge TV fan. Nor do I watch movies very often. But what else was I suppose to do??? *bored to tears* Not to say I didn’t enjoy some of the movies I saw but the rest were just to fill the time. At least the food was good! About two hours prior to landing, my grandmother decided to subject me to the various ways one can ask “Are we there yet?” I think the query was expressed every fifteen minutes until the plane touched down on the ground. *cries in frustration*

We were rudely received at customs by a churlish individual who clearly hated his job. It was possible that he just didn’t like foreigners, which makes it doubly bizarre that he is in a profession that puts him in contact with them daily. People should really try to find jobs they like. Doing something you hate day after day really rots your soul. Then you just become a shitty person and NO ONE LIKES YOU. And that makes you hate your job more. It’s a vicious cycle. “Just say no!”

Anyway, the problem was we didn’t put an address or phone number where we were staying while in Korea. I should have thought to at least write down a phone number but the orange juice incident had really thrown me for a loop. So there we were with no contact information. But my mom and aunt were standing right outside waiting to pick us up! He was adamant what we were stupid for not knowing where we were staying and had the audacity to yell at my grandparents how ridiculous it was that they didn’t even know their own son or daughter’s phone number. What a bastard…

He did finally let us through. Then we sat in the car for an hour to get to my aunt’s apartment. My butt was in PAIN. But at least I got to get my favorite black noodle dish delivered as soon as we unloaded the car and got everything hauled inside. *drool* Korean food just doesn’t taste the same in the States. Afterwards, I wanted to go to the grocery store. I asked my cousin, Hyun Ji, where the nearest one was. She offered to walk with me but told me that it was pretty far. Like I care! I had just been sitting for the past twelve hours. A little walking wasn’t going to kill me.

She lied! It was super close!! Lazy little… *grumble grumble* At least I got my fix of Korean ice cream. Then we stopped by the bread store on the way home and I got this rice cake donut that I’ve been craving for forever. *happiness!!* When we got back to the apartment, I decided I needed to go to bed. I had been up for a LONG time. And that was my first day in Seoul!

A taste of Morocco

It was my last weekend before leaving for Korea. A plan was hatched to get a group of people together to go to the Can Can in Pike Place for dinner and a show. By the time the weekend had arrived, plans had shifted because a lot of people couldn’ make it. So we decided to go to Mamounia, a Moroccan restaurant on Capitol Hill that has belly dancing. *senses a theme* (Next time, popsicles and tap dancing! Just kidding. *laughs*) After a series of calls that changed our reservation from six people to just the two of us then up to four, we ended up with six people again by the time we got to Capitol Hill. *bewildered*

From the outside of the restaurant, we couldn’t see anything because the windows were tinted. *aura of mystique* But as soon as we walked inside, my eyes were attacked by an overabundance of COLOR!! The walls and ceiling were draped with fabric and a couch adorned with plump pillows lined the wall. The tables were small and low and the rest of the seating looked like lowered ottomans. They were promptly dubbed “butt cushions” by the rest of our party once they arrived. *laughs* (Matt and I had arrived first and were soon joined by Jordan, his two roommates and one of his roommate’s cousins.) The drama quickly unfolded after that.

It seems that the group, less Jordan, had already eaten and was only joining us for drinks and to watch the belly dancing. Unfortunately, the waitress requested they be seated in the bar area because the seating in the dining area was only for patrons who were dining. There was only room left for four people up at the bar so we couldn’t move over there as a group. The cousin was pretty pissed but I don’t think what he said really mattered since the waitress didn’t seem to understand what he was saying anyway.

The three of them moved over and sat at the bar while Jordan, Matt and I ordered. Well, we tried to order. The waitress took forever to come back. The couple at the next table confided that the food was really good but the service was really, really slow. *wastes away to nothing waiting for the waitress to take our order* Jordan’s friends had already had a few drinks and decided to go to the Garage for more so we arranged to meet them there after dinner. If we ever got dinner…

The waitress did eventually come back to ask us what we wanted to eat. The menu was really interesting! We each picked our own main entrees but the dinner came with an assortment of other dishes. But best of all, no utensils! Heather would love this place!! (Heather has a penchant for discarding silverware in favor of eating with her fingers much to Mom’s eternal dismay.) The waitress brought out a basin and a kettle of rose water to rinse our hands before serving us our food.

***The various main courses featured on the left and right with Chicken Nanaa in the center***

We started with a traditional lentil soup. Then we were served a plate with beetroot salad, cucumber salad and carrot salad. They were all really good although I was worried that the beets would stain my fingers maroon forever! *frantically wiping them on my napkin after every bite* Then she brought out an appetizer called Chicken Nanaa. It was chicken baked between sheets of phyllo dough then thoroughly doused with powdered sugar and a hint of cinnamon. The powdered sugar was interesting but it was super yum anyway.

Finally, it was time for our main course. Matt and Jordan had ordered the same thing, the Mamounia Brochettes Trio. It was a grilled beef kebab, a grilled chicken kebab and a grilleod lamb kebab on saffron rice. Matt said the hardest part was eating the rice with his fingers! *grin* Jordan didn’t even bother and went straight for the bread. I had ordered Chicken with Oranges which was SO GOOD! It was chicken in a cinnamon broth with mandarin orange slices. Yum!! Afterwards, there was a light dessert with heavily sugared mint tea. I really liked it!

Oh. But the belly dancing… *puhahahahaha* I would have to say that it was potentially compromising in regards to my digestion. The woman appeared out of nowhere in a bustier of crushed red velvet. She wore a matching low slung skirt that would have been overly tight had it not been for the slit that reached almost a little too high. What startled me the most was I think I had been expecting someone a little more…foreign? (She was white. Wait, is that not politically correct? CAUCASIAN?!?) Her red painted mouth was alarming in its perpetually stretched state of a bright smile. *scared!*

Honestly, I think we had more fun discussing the plastic Barbie across the way who was dining with a man at least twice her age. *surreptitiously staring so hard she must have noticed* I found her clothing coordination skills fascinating. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone who had matched their headband, bra, belt and shoes down to the exact same shade of coral. (Yes, her bra was strategically positioned to show just the slightest above her really low neckline.) And when they finally stood up to leave, I came to the startled realization that the jacket she was putting on was longer than the dress she was wearing!

We did end up going to the Garage with the intention of staying just a little while. To make a long story short, we ended up staying for far longer than anticipated due to a random series of events which left me nonplussed. And somehow Jordan was abandoned by his companions in the process so we drove him home. *DRAMA!!* Anyway, I had a good time!

The end of the festivities

When I woke up this morning, my legs felt unnaturally heavy and I couldn’t move them. It was then that I realized it was because someone was lying across the bottom of the bed. KRISTEN!! Yay, she made it! But how long had she been chilling in our hotel room while everyone slept? *a little creeped out…just kidding*

I took her to get registered while the rest of the girls got ready. Everyone was SO tired from staying up until the wee hours of the morning so it took them a while. When we got back it was decided that everyone should meet in the hotel room at 11:30am to check-out because no one really wanted to pack before heading out to the Con. It was so cute to see Heather, Kristen and Christina together as a group!!!

Within five minutes of arriving, most of us had scattered to the far corners of the convention center. I think we all had different agendas. Top priority on my list: vampire teeth! Super cute!! But the kiosk was CLOSED. *doom* Luckily, they reopened a little later on when I checked back. Heather, in the meanwhile, was in the process of buying every plushie and hat in sight. Paige was hanging out with her new D. Gray-man friends and I don’t know what Christina and her friend did. But I do know they left fairly early because they were scheduled for a family function/Easter brunch type of thing. Liz just disappeared for a while…

By the time we met up at the hotel to check out, Heather and I were done. There weren’t that many activities left at the Con that we wanted to go to and there weren’t that many people at the convention because it was the last day as well as Easter. After making some sort of an arrangement for Liz and Paige to get picked up, Heather and I left with a trunk FULL of everyone’s luggage and went home.

It had been an overwhelming experience but a lot of fun. Next year, I’m definitely going to cosplay. (Especially since Matt said he would come for one day. And that if he was going to go, he was going in costume. I’M HOLDING YOU TO THAT!!) And I’m going to actually look at the program and figure out what events and workshops I want to go to. Karaoke for sure! *laughs*